My Confession


America is abandoning God, we see the results, and it’s not something stupid like gay marriage. We hear the vitriol that is spewed on AM talk radio. We see the street riots on TV. We’re at war with Islam abroad, and we’re at war with ourselves at home. One faction screams for people to work for Mammon, and tells anyone who doesn’t like it to “get the hell out”. The other faction demands more and more government regulation to solve all of our problems. Both preach our overarching system of government to anyone who will listen. The street faction throws rocks at storefronts and rants against “the system”. They’re all at war with somebody. They hate you. You hate them. That’s what we’ve become. A nation full of hate, greed, wickedness, and violence. Everyone talks about freedom, but nobody wants freedom in Christ.

The nation! The nation! My God, the nation!

Ever since the non-campaign when I was 27 years old, I’ve felt that I’ve held the nation cradled in my hands, I’ve finally dropped it, and I’m so, so sorry. I’ve hated this country in so many ways, but I would have run in the election, and if elected I would have served. I would have at least tried to lead the opposition to pack our bags and launch an Alaskan secession movement.

See, the watchman takes a lot of pride in his work. I came to Alaska because I was called here by God. I preached the Gospel because I was called. I tried to blow the trumpet because I was called. I’m not going back to Maryland; of course not! I was called to Alaska! I failed to blow the trumpet, so then I ran door to door trying to warn everyone about what happened. That didn’t work, either, so now I’m back on my knees begging God to blow the trumpet again.

Here’s the problem. The watchman didn’t really give a shit what happened to the town. The townspeople talk to him like garbage, they treat him like garbage, they ignore him, they slam their doors shut in his face, they spit on him in the marketplace, they leave him to sleep out in the cold, they throw him out of their churches. The watchman would love to leave and go to another town, but he can see them all from the watchtower, none of them are very friendly, and anyway he has a job to do. The watchman does his job, but he hates the town.

That doesn’t sound very Christian, and it’s not.

Who could love this country? Who could love a country run by a bunch of self-serving creeps with some nightmare system to be jammed down the throats of anyone who won’t go along with it voluntarily? Who could love a country out to conquer the entire world and enslave it under majority rule? Who could love a sham religion that mocks Christ by teaching that the Gospel is optional and throws away genuine disciples like human garbage? Who could love a country that celebrates political opposition as the most protected form of free speech, then eliminates the most promising political opposition in a generation using SWAT teams? Truly, who could love this country?

What? You don’t want leaders who hate the country? Well, no, but you definitely want leaders who burn with hatred for capitalism, who consult everyone but refuse to cave in to the majority, who have dedicated their lives to God, who serve if they are called by God, who are disciples of Christ.

I’ve told you how I’ve prayed for food, housing, transportation, work, guidance, and inspiration. I’ve also prayed for God to get me out of this country, repeatedly. I’ve asked him to help me overthrow this government. I’ve asked him for a secession movement. When he called me to preach, I asked for a pulpit. I never expected a political campaign, at least not for anything other than secession and independence. They want us to leave, then let’s leave! I’m OK with that, but now there’s a crisis.

I wrote my first book hoping that it would galvanize America’s scattered anti-capitalist Christian opposition into mounting an Alaskan or Hawaiian secession bid in 2012. Then Occupy happened! CNN! Fox! God’s plan was so much better than anything that I had imagined! (of course) The timing was perfect! And it was so easy! All I had to do was go to Anchorage and preach! Now 2012 has come and gone, and I’m back to writing again. It’s a poor substitute for a divinely inspired political opposition.

There are benefits to failure. I’m a better disciple than I was a year ago. Obviously, I take prophetic voices a lot more seriously than I did then! I’m more humble, more willing to consider the spiritual gifts of the people around me.

Have you screwed up in your life? Ruined your marriage with an affair? Got locked up in prison? Killed someone driving drunk? With a handgun, even?

And you’re really, really sorry, right? I know, I am too. You want to go back and fix it? Me too. But we can’t go back. Only forward.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Sometimes it’s because good people make mistakes. Good people make mistakes that affect other good people who haven’t themselves done anything wrong! Sometimes things don’t work out even though you’ve done everything right!

Why aren’t things working out, even though I’m sure that I’m doing what God has called me to? Maybe the calling is so difficult and so delicate that an inadvertent misstep can lead to a ruinous outcome. Something seemingly insignificant could be decisive.

So the opposition is destroyed, I’m back to being homeless and destitute, no one listens to my speeches, there’s no way to organize, the church throws me away in a homeless shelter.

Now what?

5 Replies to “My Confession”

  1. I’ve been reading your “Confession”. Wanted to go on, but chapter 2 (and the others) doesn’t work. Not ready yet?

    1. This looks like a bug in WordPress. Sorry I’ve taken so long to reply, but I finally investigated it a bit and reported it to today.

      Until the problem get fixed, you can read further the chapters by deleting the trailing slash from their URLs.

      I’ll try to keep on top of this better.

      1. OK, so not a bug in WordPress, but a misconfiguration on AWS cloudfront, which I use as a reverse proxy for Looks like I need to pass the “Host” header through from cloudfront to the web server.

        I think it’s working now.

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