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1.12
date	2011.06.04.06.01.52;	author baccala;	state Exp;
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1.11
date	2011.06.04.00.39.08;	author baccala;	state Exp;
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1.10
date	2011.06.03.23.44.42;	author baccala;	state Exp;
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1.9
date	2011.04.26.01.24.40;	author baccala;	state Exp;
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1.8
date	2011.03.24.02.40.55;	author baccala;	state Exp;
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1.7
date	2011.03.20.00.08.52;	author baccala;	state Exp;
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1.6
date	2011.03.19.23.47.49;	author baccala;	state Exp;
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1.5
date	2011.03.19.01.21.01;	author baccala;	state Exp;
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1.4
date	2011.03.18.23.03.15;	author baccala;	state Exp;
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1.3
date	2011.02.01.03.29.28;	author baccala;	state Exp;
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1.2
date	2011.01.22.05.51.00;	author baccala;	state Exp;
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1.1
date	2011.01.21.21.06.01;	author baccala;	state Exp;
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% EVERYTHING WRONG WITH DEMOCRACY.  CAPITALISM IS REGULATED.  GOVERNMENT
% IS RUN BY ITS PEOPLE.  [MISSING A LOT AT THE END]

Senator Patricia Wye had been a fixture on the Washington scene for
decades, first as a dutiful wife and more recently as a power broker
in her own right.  Seated comfortably by the fireplace in the Senate
Reading Room, she looked about her as the commerical break ran.  The
chair was positioned precisely; the coffee cup was filled to exactly
the correct level; an edge of the ornate rug could just be seen on the
video monitor.  She waited until the light came on before smiling, to
make this act seem more spontaneous.  As she fell easily into a
familiar patter with Ecks, the cameraman noted that her frosted blond
coiffure hadn't changed in twenty years.

Ecks: "Senator, what do you say to Captain Mercuriou?"

Wye: "Only that this country is run by its people, through their
elected representatives, and the capitalists do not own everything.
If anything, it's the other way around -- capitalism is chosen by the
people and regulated by the government."

Mercuriou: "Oh, it's regulated, all right.  You've got laws to
regulate factories, you've got laws to regulate fisheries, you've got
laws to regulate farmers.  If you chose decent leaders to begin with,
you wouldn't need all those laws!"

Wye: "Well, we have to have laws, Captain."

Mercuriou: "Why?  I'll tell you why.  Because otherwise you'll have
two factory owners build on the same river.  One will be clean and
safe; the other one will just dump his waste into the nearest pond.
The first one will go out of business in a year, and the second one
will retire at forty laughing 'Ha ha ha, you can't _com_-_pe_-_te_!'"

Wye: "And we don't allow that, captain!  We allow free markets and
free enterprise because they are beneficial to society, but we also
need laws to protect the environment and ensure a level playing field,
so that good corporate citizens are not victimized by abusers.  Would
you have us abandon the Clean Air Act, or the Clear Water Act?  We
have food stamps because we're not willing to let people starve!  We
have social security and Medicare because we're not willing to put the
elderly out on the streets!"

Mercuriou: "And who pays for it all?  More taxes?  Or just run it all
up on the national credit card?  How about a magician pulling a
kerchief out of his fist -- can he do it with cash?"

Wye: "We must control spending, but not by getting rid of programs
that serve the truly needy."

Mercuriou: "Bottom line -- if America is so great and so wonderful,
why do we need all these government programs?"

Wye: "Because these government programs help make our society great!
We allow free enterprise, we allow competition, we allow people to
earn a reward from their labor, but we also have programs in place to
achieve a clean environment, a safe food supply, reliable
transportation, a minimal social support system.  Women and minorities
need protection against discriminatory labor practices, and children
deserve a quality education.  These decisions are made through a
cooperative political process."

Mercuriou: "Your decisions are made on a TV game show, vastly
elaborate, with stages all over the country, and Oh My God so
expensive!  You've got to be flying everywhere, giving speeches,
buses, banners, ballons, all kinds of buttons and bumper stickers!  It
costs huuuuge amounts of money to play, the judges watch everything on
TV, and they have an average IQ of 100!  This is what your government
has been since the invention of television!  It's got troops all over
God's creation, enough national debt to last a half century, the
biggest prision state in the world, a wall across its southern border,
and now it's out to enslave the world under globalization!  I call it
a Game Show Government, and it's a disaster of truly Biblical
proportions!"

Wye: "We're governed by the Constitution..."

Mercuriou: "You're governed by a TV Game Show!"

Wye firmly grabbed her head, re-adjusted her hair, then laughed.

Wye: "So now you're against democracy..."

Mercuriou: "You're damn right I'm against democracy!  It's one of the
most tyrannical political philosophies ever!  It's premise is that one
group of people are somehow entitled to rule over everyone else just
because there's more of them!"

Wye: "The people choose their own own leaders!"

Mercuriou laughed, then sneered.

Mercuriou: "Which people, Senator, surely not all the people!"

Wye: "Yes, The People!"

Mercuriou: "What about the two million people you've got locked up in
your jail cells, the largest prison system in the world?  Do they
choose their own leaders?"

Wye: "We have a participatory democracy, Captain!  The people can
petition their government to change the laws, and if enough people
support them, the laws _will_ change!"

Mercuriou: "You didn't say the people could _participate_!  You said
the people could _choose_their_own_leaders_, but in fact only the
majority get to _choose_their_own_leaders_; they do it on a TV Game
Show; everyone else participates, and loses!  Hell, I'll take
'participatory government' any day!  You participate, and I'll make
all the decisions!  I'll even have my own TV Game Show!  What do you
say?"

Wye: "Well, that would be a dictatorship, Captain, but I suppose
that's what you've had in mind all along.  The bottom line is that
people of this planet have decided on democracy, captain, we're not
going back!"

Mercuriou: "I don't care.  It's not the bottom line; not for me.  I
won't accept it.  None of us should.  The majority care about three
things: getting rich, getting tough, and getting laid!  They aren't
entitled to rule everyone else's lives!  Nobody has that right!"

Wye: "Democracy is _responsive_ to its people; we have the ability to
change!"

Mercuriou: "Oh, the communists talked about change too, senator.  The
dictatorship of the proletariat was just going to wither away and
leave us with some utopian socialist future.  I'll bet it came as one
hell of a shock to a whole lot of people in Russia when it finally
dawned on them that communism was going to remembered for
_exactly_what_it_was_ and not some fantasy future that never happened!
You can talk change all you want; democracy is going to be remembered
for _exactly_what_we_live_in_today_... no fantasy futures allowed!"
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your jail cells?  Do they choose their own leaders?"
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Mercuriou: "But that's not what you said!  You didn't say the people
could _participate_ in their government!  You said the people could
_choose_their_own_leaders_, but in fact only the majority get to
_choose_their_own_leaders_; they do it on a TV Game Show; everyone
else participates, and loses!  Hell, I'll take 'participatory
government' any day!  You participate, and I'll make all the
decisions!  I'll even have my own Game Show!  What do you say?"
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that's what you've had in mind all along."

Mercuriou: "What's a dictatorship?  Anything that isn't a democracy?
And then you talk about 'freedom'!  Turn on the T.V!  Watch the police
slam people to the ground and drag them off in cuffs!  Half of them
have done nothing more than fire up a marijuana joint!  That's your
'freedom'!"

Wye: "It's what The People want!"

Mercuriou: "Oh, get off re-re-repeat!  There are no 'People'!  It's
just propaganda!"

% Wye stared at the screen, then tacked.

Wye: "Democracy is not perfect, Captain, but if you look around the world,
it's the best we've got."

Mercuriou: "Well, since it dominates the world at gunpoint, that's not
really a fair comparison.  Anyway, judge democracy by its results!
The majority don't want good leaders.  No, I take that back.  They
want good leaders, but they can't tell the difference -- they're
incompetent.  So they've picked about the most selfish bastards you'd
ever want to meet, with this nightmare capitalist system to be jammed
down everyone's throats, and they've backed it all up with the world's
biggest prison system and the most crushing military juggernaut ever.
And this time, nobody can say it isn't really a democracy, nobody can
say one man took over the government, nobody can say the dissidents
were 'disappeared', nobody can say we don't have freedom of speech or
freedom of the press.  Nobody can claim that this isn't really what
the majority of the American people want."

Wye: "Well, that's the bottom line then, Captain.  It's what the
majority of Americans want."
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Wye: "The people of this planet have decided on democracy, captain,
we're not going back!"

Mercuriou: "'The people of this planet'; you don't even fool around
with 'the people of this nation' anymore, you're onto global
democracy!"

Wye: "Yes, the people of this planet!  You should speak to some of
them who have lived under dictatorship!  Let me explain the
difference, captain, since it seems to have escaped you.  Democracy
isn't perfect, yet our government is _responsive_ to its people; we
have the ability to change!"
a134 3

Wye: "I'm not worried about that comparison, captain, not in the least!"

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elected representatives, and the capitalists don't simply own
everything.  If anything, it's the other way around -- capitalism is
regulated by the government, though laws."
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Wye: "We have to control spending, but we are also not willing to get
rid of these programs because that would cut off the truly needy."
d52 2
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Mercuriou: "Bottom line -- if America is so great and so wonderful, why
do we need all of these government programs in the first place?"
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Wye: "Because those government programs have a lot to do with making
our society great!  We allow free enterprise, we allow competition, we
allow people to earn a reward from their labor, but we also have
programs in place to achieve other goals, such as a clean environment,
a safe food supply, reliable transportation, a minimal social support
system.  Women and minorities need protection against discriminatory
labor practices, and children deserve a quality education that isn't
based on rich their parents are.  Those decisions are made through a
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laws to regulate farmers.  Has it ever occurred to you that maybe if
you chose decent leaders to begin with, you wouldn't need all of these
laws?"
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two factory owners build on the same river.  The one will try to run a
clean, safe joint, the other one will just dump his waste into the
nearest pond.  The first one will go out of business in a year, and
the second one will retire at forty laughing 'Ha ha ha, you can't
_com_-_pe_-_te_!'"
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give people the opportunity to earn a reward from their labor, but we
also have programs in place to achieve other goals, such as a clean
environment, a safe food supply, transportation infrastructure, a
minimal social support system.  Women and minorities need protection
against discriminatory labor practices, and our children deserve a
quality education that isn't based on how much money their parents
make.  Those decisions are made through a cooperative political
process."
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Mercuriou: "Your decisions are made on a TV game show!  vastly
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TV, and they have an average IQ of 100!  This is what your dumb
government has been since the invention of television!  It's got
troops all over God's creation, enough national debt to last a half
century, the biggest prision state in the world, a wall across its
southern border, and now it's out to enslave the world under
globalization!  I call it a Game Show Government, and it's a disaster
of truly Biblical proportions!"
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Mercuriou: "You're governed by a Game Show!"
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have done nothing more than fire up a joint!  That's your 'freedom'!"
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Mercuriou: "Oh, get off re-re-repeat!"
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Wye stared at the screen, then tacked.
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want good leaders, but they can't tell the difference - they're
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And this time, nobody can say it isn't really a democracy, that one
man took over the government, that the dissidents were 'disappeared',
that we don't have freedom of speech or freedom of the press.  Nobody
can claim that this isn't really what the majority of the American
people want."
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Mercuriou: "I don't care.  It's not the bottom line. I won't accept
it.  None of us should.  The majority aren't entitled to rule my life,
or anybody else's."
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Wye: "Thank you, Rich, it's good to be back on your show."

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everything.  If anything, it's the other way around - capitalism is
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Mercuriou: "Why?  I'll tell you why.  Because otherwise you'll have two
factory owners trying to 'compete'.  The one will try to run a clean,
safe factory, the other one will just dump his waste into the nearest
river.  The first one will go out of business, and the second one will
retire at forty laughing 'Ha ha ha, you can't _com_-_pe_-_te_!'"

Wye: "And we don't allow that, captain!  We allow free markets and free
enterprise because they are beneficial to society, but we also need
laws to protect the environment and ensure a level playing field, so
that good corporate citizens are not victimized by abusers."

Mercuriou: "'Good corporate citizens' - there are none!  A bunch of
'special interests' that lobby to for this restriction or that
exemption and you cook up some convoluted, five hundred page law that
gets another five hundred pages of regulations tacked on by the
bureaucrats - oh, it keeps the lawyers busy!"

Wye: "I think those regulations have done a pretty good job!  Would you
have us abandon the Clean Air Act, or the Clear Water Act?  We have
food stamps because we're not willing to let people starve!  We have
social security and Medicare because we're not willing to put the
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kerchief out of his fist - think he can do it with cash?"
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Wye: "We have to get our spending under control, but we are also not
willing to get rid of these programs because that would cut off the
truly needy."
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Mercuriou: "Bottom line - if America is so great and so wonderful, why
d68 16
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Mercuriou: "That's quite an agenda!  Why do you need to do all that
with the government?  You talk so much about a cooperative government,
but coercion is the very essence of government!  Coercion is what sets
government apart from a business, or a charity, or an individual.
Government is either picking your pocket or twisting your arm, so
you're saying that we need a coercive society to acheive those goals.
Why?"

Wye: "Well, life is coercive, captain.  You're forced to build shelter
or you'll freeze.  You're forced to plow and harvest or you'll starve.
We have certain social goals that we achieve through tax funding and
government regulation.  We're also careful to check and restrain the
power of government through constitutional law and free elections."

Mercuriou: "Why not just put good leaders in positions of authority to
begin with?  Then you wouldn't need the government."

Wye laughed.

Wye: "Well, that'd be Utopia, but unfortunately we do need the
government.  There's always the criminal element who thinks that the
rules don't apply to them, eh, _Captain_?"

Mercuriou: "I've got a better idea - get rid of the capitalists!"

Wye: "How?  Like the Bolsheviks?  Should we use clubs, hypothermia,
or firing squads?"

Mercuriou: "Just stop working for them!  Stop supporting them!
'Just say no' to their nightmare 'system'!"

Wye: "Captain, most people _want_ capitalism!  Progressives have spent
much of the twentieth century convincing voters that some government
controls are needed, but most people want a path to prosperity!"

Mercuriou: "Well, then maybe your system of government is part of the
problem!  If the majority want a bunch of self-serving creeps to be
their leaders, then maybe we need to get rid of the majority!"
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Again, Wye laughed.
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Mercuriou sneered.
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Wye: "Yes, _the_people_!"
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_choose_their_own_leaders_; everyone else participates, and loses!
Hell, I'll take 'participatory government' any day!  You participate,
and I'll make all the decisions!  What do you say?"
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Wye: "Yes, even _criminals_ are entitled to freedom!  We provide them
with lawyers, ensure them fair trials..."
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Mercuriou: "Fair trials!  Senator, _I'm_one_of_those_criminals_!
Because I smoke marijuana!  Because I copy books and software from 'C'
drive to 'D' drive!  Because I don't concede to this demented democracy
that it can control every aspect of my life, and all your
_fair_trials_ are is a convoluted route to a jail cell!  And then you
sit there are talk about 'freedom'!  What freedom?  The freedom to
invade people's homes with guns because there's a hundred million of
you and only ten million of us?"

Wye: "Captain, the entire operation of our government is based on
persuasion.  That's why every four years men contest to become
President, and the way they do that is through giving speechs, running
advertisements, talking to voters, and the whole point is to persuade,
captain, persuade, not force, people to vote for them."

Mercuriou: "So humanity has abandoned force and this great event goes
by the name of democracy!  Now why do you have the highest incarceration
rate on the planet?"
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I think that it's the best we've got."
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make it seem more spontaneous.  As she fell easily into a familiar
patter with Ecks, the cameraman noted that her frosted blond coiffure
hadn't changed in twenty years.
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retire at forty laughing 'Ha ha ha, You can't _compete_!'"
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drive to 'D' drive!  Because I don't concede to this blasted democracy
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Mercuriou: "I don't care.  I won't accept it.  None of us should.  The
majority aren't entitled to rule my life, or anybody else's."
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EVERYTHING WRONG WITH DEMOCRACY.  CAPITALISM IS REGULATED.  GOVERNMENT
IS RUN BY ITS PEOPLE.  [MISSING A LOT AT THE END]
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Wye: "Nothing more than that this country is run by its people, through
their elected representatives, and the capitalists don't simply 'own'
the government.  If anything, it's the other way around - capitalism
is regulated by the government, though laws."
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Mercuriou: "You're damn right I'm against democracy!"
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[DO WE WANT SOMETHING IN HERE ABOUT THE CONSTITUTION?  1.6->1.7]
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-----

...that cuts everybody off.  We resent throwing money at it,
but we haven't found a better way to deal with it.

Food stamps - we're not going to let people starve
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Reading Room, she looked around her as the commerical break run.  The
chair was positioned correctly; the coffee cup on the table next to
her was filled to exactly the correct level; an edge of the ornate rug
could be seen on the video monitor.  She waited until the light came on
before smiling, to make it seem more spontaneous.  As she fell easily
into a familiar patter with Ecks, the cameraman noted that her frosted
blond coiffure hadn't changed in twenty years.
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"Thank you, Rich, it's good to back on your show."
d18 1
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"Senator, what do you say to Captain Mercuriou?"
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retire at forty laughing 'Ha ha ha, You can't _compete_!'
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Reading Room, her frosted blond coiffure hadn't changed in twenty
years.  She waited until the camera light came on before smiling, to
make it seem more spontaneous.
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"Just that this country is run by its people, through their elected
representatives, and the capitalists don't simply 'own' the
government.  If anything, it's the other way around - capitalism is
regulated by the government, though laws."

Mercuriou: Oh, it's regulated, all right.  You've got laws to regulate
factories, you've got laws to regulate fisheries, you've got laws to
regulate farmers.  Has it ever occurred to you that maybe if you chose
decent leaders to begin with, you wouldn't need all of these laws?
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Wye: Well, we have to have laws, captain.
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Mercuriou: Why?  I'll tell you why.  Because otherwise you'll have two
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be laughing all the way to the bank [CA].
_Ha_ha_ha_,_you_can't_'compete'!_
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Wye: And we don't allow that, captain!  We allow free markets and free
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that good corporate citizens are not victimized by abusers.
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Mercuriou: "Good corporate citizens" - there are none!  A bunch of
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bureaucrats - oh, it keeps the lawyers busy!  The little guy [CA] is
buried under paperwork, big business [CA] figures how to make their
millions, and people go around wringing their hands that we've still
got global warming, still can't swim in our rivers, and your answer is
what - pile on more regulations?
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Wye: I think those regulations have done a pretty good job!  Would you
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elderly out on the streets!  Don't go brushing off everything that
this country has accomplished just because you can't see anything but
its faults!

Mercuriou: And who pays for it all?  More taxes?  Or just run it all
up on the national credit card / Or just keep funding the government
like a magician pulling a kerchief out of his fist?

Wye: We have to get deficit spending under control, but we are also
not willing to get rid of these programs because that would cut off
the truly needy.

Mercuriou: You've been saying that for years and the deficits keep
getting bigger.  I've come to the conclusion that you will never be
able to pay off your debts, but that begs the question. [CA] If this
society is so great and so wonderful, why do we need all of these
government programs in the first place?
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Wye: Because those government programs have a lot to do with making
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process.
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Mercuriou: That's quite an agenda!  Why do you need to do all that
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essentially you're saying that we need a coercive society to acheive
those goals.  Why is that?
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Wye: Well, life is coercive, captain.  You're forced to build shelter
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power of government through constitutional law and free elections.

Mercuriou: Why not just put good leaders in positions of authority to
begin with?  Then you wouldn't need the government.

Wye: Well, that's a nice utopia, but we do need the government, just
like we need business and charity.  There's always the criminal
element who thinks that the rules don't apply to them, eh?

Mercuriou: Take the case of my Greek reading aid.  What's your
solution?  Fund free software development with government taxes?
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Wye: There are software development efforts funded through government
grant; you could certainly have sought an NSF grant to pursue your
development efforts.
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Mercuriou: Aside from all the bureaucracy invoked, the time wasted
writing grant proposals, the documents "included by reference" in a
contract that's already fifty pages long, the usual end-of-year waste
when everybody tries to burn whatever money's left in the budget
because it just evaporates come March 31st, I've got one overriding
question - does any worthwhile project get funded?
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Wye: We certainly don't just give out grants for anything.  Grants
are subject to careful review and oversight.
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Mercuriou: So what about this much-vaunted freedom to innovate?  The
only funding options you've got are to either become a capitalist, or
convince the government to cut you in on the tax handouts.  To take
another example, you like to talk about heath care reform.  Well,
here's my program for health care reform.  You go to the doctor of
your choice, he provides the care that you need, and if you can't pay
for it, he says "don't worry about it."
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Wye: Well, that's just not very realistic, captain.
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Mercuriou: Of course it's not realistic!  It's not realistic because
we live under capitalism!  It's not realistic because the doctor can't
eat without money, can't live in a house or rent his office or buy
equipment without money.  We don't need a government health care
system.  We need to create a society where you won't be put out of
business if you won't turn away the poor!
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Wye: And how do you propose to do that?

Mercuriou: Get rid of the capitalists!

Wye: How?  Do like the Bolsheviks?  Beat them to death with clubs?
Tie them to stakes and start handing out cigarettes?
Line them up in front of a wall and shoot them? [CA]

Mercuriou: Just stop working for them!  Stop supporting them!
"Just say no" to their nightmare "system"!

Wye: Captain, most people _want_ capitalism!  Progressives have spent
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controls are needed, but most people want a path to prosperity!
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Mercuriou: Well, then maybe your system of government is part of the
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their leaders, then maybe we need to get rid of the majority!
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Wye: [laughing] So now you're against democracy...
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Mercuriou: You're damn right I'm against democracy!
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"Simply put, this country is run by its people, through their elected
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Senator David Wye was Mercuriou's next opponent in the video Colosseum.
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